If someone leaves you a DM or comment and your first thought is:
“Okay… cool… but what do I say back?”
You’re so not the only one.
DMs are where:
- Real relationships happen
- Trust is built
- And for a lot of us—where most sales actually convert
Especially when your audience is still small, what you do in the DMs can matter more than what you post on your grid.
In this post, we’re going to walk through:
- A DM opener that works about 80% of the time
- How to move from comments to real conversations
- 3 non-awkward conversation starters you can steal
- How to naturally transition from chat → freebie or offer
Let’s make your inbox feel less terrifying and more like a cozy coffee chat.
1. The DM Opener That Works 80% of the Time
This one is simple, but wildly effective when it’s genuine.
The formula:
“Oh my gosh, I was literally just thinking about you because ___.”
✨ Why it works:
- It’s personal
- It feels like something a friend would say
- It doesn’t feel pitchy or forced
- It instantly makes the other person feel seen + remembered
This works especially well with:
- People who’ve DM’d you before
- Former leads who went quiet
- Warm followers who vote on your polls, reply to your stories, etc.
Niche Examples
Fitness coach:
“I was literally just thinking about you because I saw someone get their first full pushup today and remembered your goal of hitting 5 by New Year’s. How’s it going?”
Photographer:
“I saw a cute couples session on my feed and immediately thought about your shoot idea. Have you thought any more about it?”
Interior designer:
“I walked past a vintage mirror in an antique shop today and it reminded me of the living room vibe you were going for. How’s the space coming together?”
The key here:
You actually have to know your people.
This is for folks you’ve already interacted with, not total strangers.
2. How to Move from Comment → Conversation
Here’s where most people get stuck.
Someone comments: “This was so helpful!!”
And you reply: “Thank you! 🥰”
…aaaand the conversation dies right there. 🪦
We don’t want that.
Instead, use a comment bridge:
Formula:
- Acknowledge what they said
- Add something of your own
- Ask a question that invites them to go deeper
Example
They comment:
“This was so helpful, thank you!”
You reply on the post:
“Ahh I’m so glad!! 🥹 Which part hit the most?”
Then you follow up in the DMs:
“I didn’t realize that topic would resonate with so many people. What’s been the hardest part of ____ for you lately?”
It works because:
- They already opened the door by commenting
- You’re deepening the conversation instead of shutting it down with a generic “thanks!”
- You’re inviting them to share something real
Other comment-bridge examples:
- “Omg same. What made you comment on this post?”
- “Are you dealing with this right now too?”
- “This made me think of a tip that might help—want me to DM it to you?”
These are especially powerful for service-based businesses, where people usually need a bit more connection and conversation before investing.
3. Three Non-Awkward DM Starters You Can Steal
Let’s talk about starting conversations without feeling like a spam bot.
Here are three DM starters you can keep in your back pocket.
3.1 The “You Popped Into My Head” Message
You can tweak this, but the vibe is:
“Random, but your name popped up in my DMs earlier and it reminded me I wanted to ask you something…”
Or:
“I was just going through my followers and your name jumped out—I realized we’ve never actually chatted! How’s your week going?”
It feels:
- Casual
- Friendly
- Human
Not like you’re copy-pasting some weird networking script.
3.2 The “I Saw This and Thought of You”
This one is so good when you’re leading to a freebie or resource.
“I saw your comment on my last post about struggling with content ideas—
I actually have a free content checklist that might help. Want the link?”
Important:
Don’t just drop a link without asking.
Always get permission first: “Do you want it?”
It feels like:
- A gift, not a pitch
- You paying attention to what they said
- You actually wanting to help
Bonus: it’s a great way to grow your email list too.
3.3 The Soft “I Was Curious…” Opener
You can use this when someone is engaging with your stuff, but you want to get to know them better.
Examples:
- “Hey! I saw you’ve liked a few of my posts about X—do you do this for work or are you just interested in learning more about it?”
- “I noticed you voted on my poll about ____—I’m curious, what’s your biggest struggle with it right now?”
This works because it:
- Starts a real conversation
- Gives them space to share
- Doesn’t jump straight into selling
4. How to Naturally Lead a DM Into a Freebie or Offer
Okay, so now you’re chatting.
How do you not suddenly turn into “that person” who drops a random sales pitch out of nowhere?
Here’s the flow:
Step 1: Listen for the “Problem Sentence”
This is when they say something like:
- “I just can’t stay consistent.”
- “I feel totally lost on what to post.”
- “It takes me hours to make one reel.”
- “I’m so stuck on what my offer should be— I wish someone would just tell me what to do.”
That’s your moment.
They’ve just told you exactly where they’re stuck.
Step 2: Normalize It
You don’t jump straight to selling.
First you make them feel less alone.
Examples:
- “That is so normal, I hear this all the time.”
- “Honestly, this is where most of my clients start too.”
- “You’re not crazy, Instagram makes a lot of people feel like that.”
This builds safety and trust.
Step 3: Ask for Permission to Help
Then you move into:
“I actually have something that might help with this—do you want it?”
That “do you want it?” part is everything.
You’re not forcing.
You’re inviting.
What you offer could be:
- A freebie
- A mini-training
- A DM script
- A checklist
- A paid offer
- Or a call to chat if it’s a higher-ticket service
Step 4: Offer the Next Step (Based on Their Yes)
If they say yes, then you give them the thing.
Examples:
- “Totally! I have a free checklist that walks you through this step-by-step—here’s the link.”
- “This is exactly what I help people with inside my membership. Want a quick overview of what’s included?”
- “I actually have a script for this exact situation—want me to send it over?”
You’re staying in a:
- Conversational
- Consent-based
- Helpful energy
Not a “here’s my Calendly, book now or else” energy.
And if you feel comfortable using them, voice notes are gold here.
They feel extra personal and instantly deepen the relationship.
Quick Recap
Let’s sum it up:
- Your DM opener should feel like texting a friend, not cold-pitching a stranger
- Use comment bridges to move from “thanks!” to deeper conversations
- You can use warm, non-awkward starters like:
- “You popped into my head because…”
- “I saw this and thought of you…”
- Listen for the “problem sentence,” normalize it, then ask permission before offering help
- DMs are where friendships, trust, and yes—sales—are built
Your Action Step for This Week
Your homework:
👉 Send one person this message:
“Oh my gosh, I was literally just thinking about you because ___.”
Fill in the blank with something real:
- A goal they mentioned
- A story they posted
- Something you saw that reminded you of them
Just one person.
It doesn’t have to lead to a sale.
It might lead to:
- A new friend
- A closer connection
- Or someone who later becomes a dream client because they felt seen.
When you’ve done it, come tell me how it felt (and what happened!).
DM me on Instagram: @nicoleialeggio
If you want, send me your message draft and I’ll happily send a voice note back and help you tweak it.
Resources:
• • The Plug and Post membership: Instagram content ideas, picked by me (an IG strategist) every week so all you have to do is film and press post! ** Reels, carousel and story prompts – Join here!
